What kind of a guy goes into Walmart, takes a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue from the magazine rack, heads to the store’s toy section, and proceeds to masturbate to completion in the aisle?

Meet William Tyler Black.

William Tyler Black

William Tyler Black

The 28-year-old Floridian, a substitute teacher, was arrested yesterday afternoon by Sarasota cops on battery and exposure of sexual organs charges, according to a probable cause affidavit.

A store employee told cops that Black “ejaculated onto the floor and wiped his hand on a toy along with rubbing his foot in the suspected semen on the floor.” Employees reported that Black “discarded the magazine behind some toys and proceeded to the front of the store.”

A police source said that the toy in question was a light saber (apparently of the Star Wars variety and hopefully “The Jew” won’t accidentally purchase this toy for his collection), and that the magazine Black used was the 2010 SI swimsuit issue with model Brooklyn Decker on its cover. Though published in February, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue can still be found on sale months later at many retailers.

When cops confronted Black, he said he was in the store “shopping for a toy for his daughter.” He was hit with the battery on a child count since investigators concluded that a “reasonable person would believe that a child would come in contact with the fluid on the toy being that it was left in the toy aisle of the store.”

This is one sick dude!

~Boo~

 

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